And The Winner Is—Come On Down Oleksandr Subin!

Boxrec is a whacky anomaly, the most comprehensive and technical boxing website in history, yet a study in contradictions of the unfathomable, indecipherable programing rules they use for their rankings. 

As we hurtle towards the new 2011 year, most of boxing is oblivious to a knockdown, knuckle busting Battle Royale for the all time worst ranked heavyweight in history. One by one the contenders fight their way into fistic history only to be knocked out by the latest pretender to the title of The Lourde of The Least of The Most Prestigious Flagship Division in boxing history.

When I first logged in to Boxrec for a lead, 12/14, a certain obscure British horizontal heavyweight, Herbet Cheetham, 0(0)-2(2)-0, occupied the lowest rung, pegged at 22,137th of 22,137 total heavyweights. A few days later, I noticed that boxrec had completely rejiggered their formulae and current ranks, so I checked in among The Least again, and sho’nuff, a certain Edgar Turpin, 00(0)-6(5)-0, had supplanted the honourable Mr. Cheetham.

Feeling the need of a possible update for this End of the Decade Classic, and lo and behold, Todd Walker he of a 00(0)-5(5)-0 record, well, Mr. Walker occupies the current lowest rung of all rated heavyweights on record as having fought, but, NO~NO~HO~HO~HO~ol’ Sainty Nicky had come bearing gifts of mirth and joy on Christmas Day, so Mr. Walker was supplanted by Tyrone Churchill of South Africa, 3(2)-5(3)-0 out of 22,165 heayweights now, even mo’ leastest than before!

So, yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, but wait, there’s more!

Santy also had his storied elf workshop make up a nice, shiny, brandspankin’ new 22,166 slot for a certain Enrique Escobedo out of Old El Paso way, qualifications being 0(0)-4(4)-0. Poor Mr. Churchill is nowhere in sight anymore the competition at this level has gotten so ferocious.

If only the currently top ranked heavies competed as hard as the leastest, indeed if all the divisions did, we might have the most golden era of boxing in history.

So, in the interest of Shakespheare informing us of brevity being the soul of wit, I shall endeavor to report tomorrow’s leastest of the worstest and put this pig to rest.


Enrique Escobedo was still in charge of last place at the opening bell to 12/26, yet the never say die hard charging Tyrone Churchill staged an unprecedented comeback from the forgotten backwater black swamps of ignominy to knock Mr. Escobedo off his shiny new 22,166 place, but alas, the day after Christmas brings some of the most bittersweet highs and lows that a human being can bear.

A new name, a new gunslinger unable to shoot straight has entered the fray and established his own unprecedented category of one, that being 22,167.

Enter Oleksandr Subin, 6(1)-15(7)-0. How fitting that the worstest heavy ever is Ukrainian to counter balance the current top ratings of Wlad and Vitali Klitschko.

Never fear if your favourite is out of the running as of this publication date.

I do intend to monitor Boxrec on New Year’s eve to report on the final update as of 12:00 midnight, Greenwich Village time in tribute to Boxrec being a British founded and run website.

We must have an official leastest of the worstest to finish the first decade of the 3rd millennium on record for future gens to ponder don’t you know?

……….And the Official Loooser is: PENDING….

Yet rumours abound with various sightings reported~ 

Where's my secret sauce?

In Training With Symmetrics

In Training With Symmetrics

OK~Stroke of Midnight~1/1/11, the New Year celebrations are in full swing because of the official worstest of the leastest of any heavyweight that ever existed according to Boxrec.

They created a new category for this newest loooser, so lets hope someone gets the word out to this dear chap so he can leave a pic of himself in fighting trim in my comments section for publication.

The All-Time Loooser:

#22178 Peter Jaako 00(0)-1(0)-0 of Sweden, 1996-1996


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