Monthly Archives: September 2015

Good Sport Updated~Ring Ratings vs Boxrec Ratings~Who You Got?

Well folks, the “boxing experts” who purport to know all about boxing so as to fill our empty noggins with their boxing “expertise” seem to be completely at odds with each other here. No surprises there since boxing is a sport with rules that “boxing experts” often ignore so as to benefit “the chosen” for personal gain or other purpose. Nobody can even say with any degree of certainty from fight to fight which biases the referee will show or how close or far apart the fight scores will be. And for whom? Naturally this is passed on in their ranking systems, in this example being in dire opposition to each other, a perfect draw in boxing terms, but is it really?

You can see some fun I previously had with Ring rankings here, utter hilarity distilled just for you:

Anyways, ahem, the current Ring P4Pers were elected by rather large committee circle of…”experts”…are thus:

  • 1. ROMAN GONZALEZ Record: 43-0-0 (37 KOs)
    Ranking:This Week: 1 | Last Week: 1 | Weeks On List: 68
    Title: RING, WBC flyweight
    2. Andre Ward Record: 28-0-0 (15 KOs)
    Ranking:This Week: 2 | Last Week: 2 | Weeks On List:
    No title
    3. Sergey Kovalev Record: 28-0-1 (25 KOs)
    Ranking:This Week: 3 | Last Week: 3 | Weeks On List: 28
    Title: WBO, IBF, WBA light heavyweight
    4. Gennady Golovkin Record: 33-0-0 (30 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 4 | Last Week: 4 | Weeks On List: 32
    Title:WBA middleweight
    5. Guillermo Rigondeaux Record: 15-0-0 (10 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 5 | Last Week: 5 | Weeks On List: 109
    Title: RING, WBO, WBA jr. featherweight
    6. Wladimir Klitschko Record: 64-3-0 (53 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 6 | Last Week: 6 | Weeks On List: 268
    Title: RING, IBF, WBO, WBA heavyweight
    7. Terence Crawford Record: 26-0-0 (18 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 7 | Last Week: 7 | Weeks On List: 21
    Title: WBO jr. welterweight
    8. Manny Pacquiao Record: 57-6-2 (38 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 8 | Last Week: 8 | Weeks On List: 617
    No title
    9. Shinsuke Yamanaka Record: 24-0-2 (17 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 9 | Last Week: 9 | Weeks On List: 19
    Title: WBC bantamweight

    10. Kell Brook Record: 35-0-0 (24 KOs)
    Ranking: This Week: 10 | Last Week: 10 | Weeks On List: 2  Title: IBF

    OK, now on to boxrec rankings for comparison. Boxrec uses computer accumulated points which are the first emboldened numbers to go along with each fighter record, the most unbiased rankings regardless of various human errors in assigning the points for various performance measures:

    1. Wladimir Klitschko Dr Steelhammer 1330 64-3 heavyweight

    2. Gennady Golovkin GGG 1078 33-0 middleweight

    3. Saul Alvarez Canelo 1075 45-1-1 super welterweight

    4. Sergey Kovalev Krusher 999 28-0-1 light heavyweight

    5. Manny Pacquiao Pac Man 913 57-6-2 welterweight

    6. Miguel Cotto Junito 887 40-4 middleweight

    7. Kell Brook Special K 863 35 0 0 29 welterweight

    8 Keith Thurman One Time 835 26 0 0 26 welterweight

    9 Erislandy Lara The American Dream 781 21-2-2 super welterweight

    10 Adonis Stevenson Superman 777 27-1 lightheavy

    11. Terence Crawford Bud 760 26-0 jr welterweight

    18. Andre Ward 637 Son of God 28-0 supermiddleweight

    23. Guillermo Rigondeaux 564 El Chacal 15-0  superbantamweight

    29. Roman Gonzalez 519 Chocolatito 43-0  Flyweight

    90. Shinsuke Yamanaka  342 24-0-2 Bantamweight

    OK, first most glaring contradiction in the two rating systems is Roman Gonzalez being first in Ring yet only 29th in Boxrec due to being in a lower weight class of a smaller population of fighters compared to the more populous larger divisions. In context to the way they do their rankings, the Boxrec #1 P4P female, Delfine Persoon who operates in the lightweight division with a population of only 115 total females, she has only accumulated 172 points in contrast to the Gonzalez 519 points with  a male flyweight population of 709. Cecilia Braekhus is the undefeated 27-0 female welter champ widely acclaimed, yet only 10th P4P due to an exceedingly low welter population of 37 females, so fighter population, ie competition, is important to Boxrec rankings.

    If we combine Choco’s two ratings and divide by two for an average, we’d get a 15th rank which seems appropriate even if he has proven to be a beast in his 3 divisions. He could continue to accumulate points in Boxrec to rise further, but let’s move on to other glaring abnormalities.

    Boxrec has Golovkin #2 which seems about right given a general public consensus that he should be #1, but Ring lists the inactive Andre Ward #2 in spite of his gross inactivity in the supermiddleweight division dating back at least 2 years. He also refuses to leave California except when he was forced one single time by the Super Six Tourney, yet he was still at home in New York against a true international fighter in Carl Froch. Boxrec rankings seem more justified in that regard as Ward, 18th, simply wants to sit on his hometown canned record like another American supposed great, TUE 49-0, did for 9 consecutive years.

    Ring has Kovalev and Golovkin ranked 3 and 4 to Boxrec’s Canelo and Kovalev as 3 and 4, so we have only a small measure of congruancy due to Canelo being unranked by Ring in spite of being previously ranked and only losing a majority decision to TUE 49-0, otherwise cleaning out the 154 division at 155lb catchweights as he built to the highly anticipated showdown with Miguel Cotto who is Boxrec ranked. Advantage Boxrec as the Haymon/Goldenboy News of the Ring world simply cannot justify not having Canelo somewhere at this point.

    TUE nose knows it!

    TUE nose knows it!

    Boxrec has Manny Pacquiao ranked 5th, but Ring has dropped him down to 8th in between untested Crawford and Yamanaka in spite of Manny holding the P4P records by a long shot for the most P4P fights, wins, and longest duration in their P4P ratings. We’re talkin’ spiteful Ring ignorance squared x 10 me thinks.

    Moving on, Ring has their former #2, Wlad Klitschko, mysteriously demoted to #6 in spite of starting to tie and break Joe Louis’ heavyweight records set 8 decades ago. Axe to grind? What more can any fighter do than that? He’s sandwiched between the unusually gunshy, barely tested Rigondeaux who hasn’t fought a Ring ranked fighter in two years, preferring to be knocked down by international type journeymen for chump change, and the inexperienced Crawford who is a very good fighter becoming great, but not yet. Wlad has more knockouts than their victories combined and near 5x their combined title wins. Such “boxing experts” represent a gross American bias against foreign greats who have been supplanting their own greats, further magnified by the pitiful dirth of American fighters these days, especially at the contender levels.

    Knocked Cold

    Knocked Cold

    So now we’re down to Ring’s Yamanaka and Brook ranked 9 and 10, so there’s some overlap with Boxrec who ranks Brook 6th, but Yamanaka only ranked 90th down to being inexperienced in a low population of fighters. Yamanaka would be 50th if we combined rankings, not bad, but hardly a P4P top 10. What were Ring’s “experts” ever thinking, or were they? To think or not to think must be the burning question raging inside empty noggins.

    In Boxrec lower 10, they have Miguel Cotto, Keith Thurman, Erislandy Lara, and Adonis Stevenson, none of whom Ring ranks. Cotto I can see because of his long excellence and competitive losses, but Thurman and Stevenson are still relatively unproven being held back by their sugardaddy, Al Haymon. The always running, too scared to fight, feather fisted Lara barely has twenty wins to go with two losses and two draws in terrible performances, but again, there’s not a lot to pick from. Crawford, Ward, Rigondeaux, Yamanaka are all out of Boxrec’s top ten. I could see Crawford and Gonzalez squeaking in based on their startling performances and anticipated years of peak performances.

    Gone is Gone

    Gone is Gone

    I say Boxrec rankings are considerably better, so there it is, the mystery meat of sports, boxing, being served up on the public platter for consumption…yum…who’s on first, no, wait, he’s on third, wait, which way is up and where’s my candy bar and envelope? Only in boxing.

Wladimir Klitschko Down For The Long Count

A torn tendon is being blamed as the culprit behind the postponement of the Wlad/Fury fight scheduled in Germany this October 24th. This will be his 2nd postponement out of his last three fights, so it looks to be the predictable slow motion physical breakup being played out as he nears 40 years of age. 

Klitschko training camps tend to be so much harder than his fights due to his heavy sparring schedules, so he might consider lighter sparring and alternative conditioning routines as he closes out his career after an incredible record setting and tying run. Not my place to tell such a champ supported by a doctorate in physical education, but nobody can put off Father Time forever.

Good Luck with the rehabilitation.

Poor Fury is getting quite the reputation for knocking out big name opponents trying to train to fight him. Not the most lucrative setup, but becoming legendary in his own right. Nice Batman stunt too, and how on earth does 6-9 ever fit into a yellow Lamborghini without the use of Houdini spirits?

Maybe he can borrow Ricky Hatton’s fatman suit for the rematch presser, ya think? Link here:

Lookee Ma, It's Batman!

Lookee Ma, It’s Batman!


A Fat Man Fight~Andy Ruiz Jr vs Devin Vargas

A fat man stumbles into a boxing ring, and then suddenly another fat man enters the ring. Where’s the punchline you ask?

How about Mexicali Mexican Andy Ruiz Jr tangling with Toledonian American Devin Vargas at the Tachi Palace Hotel & Casino, Lemoore, California, Saturday, September 26th? Is that good enough?

Updated: Devin Vargas is now out, for what reason I don’t know. Joell Godfrey, 17-14-1, 6 KO, moves in for an 8 rounder. Weights are Ruiz 248 lbs and Godfrey 211. Ruiz near his all time low in weight. Godfrey flits between heavy and cruiser and usually goes the distance, only being KOed twice, but Ruiz by far the best heavy he’s ever faced. I’m guessing Godfrey will be a runner for this and Ruiz will have to chase him down, hopefully patiently as American judges love American runners these days, so this could be a potential banana peel for Ruiz.

Godfrey record here:

Andy Ruiz, currently 24-0, 17 KO, should be in better matchups at this point in time, but truth be told his promoter, Top Rank, has spent near a lifetime of blood, sweat, and tears over 5 fruitless years to finally make the biggest paying boxing match in history, Pacquiao vs Mayweather to the neglect of the rest of their stable. No need to go into further sordid details in the making of that disaster and subsequent hundreds of millions of dollars worth of lawsuits, but the main thing is Top Rank should now be free to better promote it’s future. The unlikely shaped Ruiz is also scheduled for a 2nd bout a month after this presumed victory. In short, a pair of tune ups at the close of the year to hopefully set the stage for a much bigger year for the 26 year old Ruiz who could easily challenge for the WBC belt currently being babysat by Al Haymon for Deontay Wilder. What a beautiful Mutt and Jeff promotion that would be with the pencil thin Wilder against the butterball Ruiz.

Deja Vu Two Ton Tony Galento

Deja Vu Two Ton Tony Galento

Make no mistake though, this fatboy can fight with the best right now save a Klitschko. He turned pro in 2009 at a shade under 300 lbs, and though he fluctuates wildly, we can see him above two years ago in Macao, China at 255 lbs where he demolished highly regarded, undefeated prospect, Joe Hanks. As you can see, this is one stout kid with a one off type of physique, so we best make our fatboy jokes with some major respect.

Olympic Team Captain

Olympic Team Captain

Devin Vargas, 18-4, 7 KO, happens to be an excellent boxer with Olympic credentials, his main problem being a distinct lack of power, meaning that most top heavies can walk right through him. His last three losses have been knockouts, so likely his chin is cracked permanently and won’t be able to put up much of a battle, but he’ll definitely give Ruiz another stylistic look from what he’s used to for as long as he lasts.

The main focus of this piece is Ruiz, of course, being the favorite. He’s been off 9 months, so what kind of shape will he be in? How long will it take him to get untracked and put Vargas down? Is he ready and focused on 2016 as a breakout year?

Please Don’t Faint~ It’s Deontay Wilder vs Johann Duhaupas

Johann Duhaupas won the French lottery when the TBA Heavyweight was chosen on short notice to challenge the increasingly spooked WBC beltholder Deontay Wilder as he pussyfoots ever so lightly toward his limpid legacy. The historical world renown Legacy Arena in Birmingham, Alabama was chosen as the venue come Saturday, September 26th, and WHOOHOO, who else to thank but the usual suspects squirreled away deep where the sun don’t shine in an underground Vegas bunker trying to take over boxing.

“The Reptile” Duhaupas

The bad news is that the 34 years old Duhaupas only has a 34th ranking on boxrec, but the good news is he’s ranked #1 in France as the French Heavyweight Champion for the limp wristed Wilder fans to swoon over. The bad news is that the last American Olympic boxing medalist, bronze, has been given a new nickname by anti social media monkeys, the Bronze Bambi. The good news is that Duhaupas might just be the 3rd best fighter Wilder has ever fought. The bad news is few care about boxing anymore much less this faint hearted Olympic medalist. The good news is few care about boxing anymore, so fewer fighters are left to get hurt and fewer fans are disappointed.

The really sad, really bad news is that Sugardaddy Al Haymon, his overseer, passed on a $2 million dollar Shannon Briggs offer to challenge Wilder for considerably less against the unknown Euro based Frenchman now travelling to Alabama. The really feel good news is that I don’t make this stuff up folks, only in boxing can we be provided with such rich material to snicker over.

The promotion is touting that this is supposed to be the first prime time heavyweight title fight on NBC since May 20, 1985. Then the rapidly fading Larry Holmes poorly defended  his ill begotten IBF bauble against young Carl “The Truth” Williams in Reno, Nevada. Larry was well whooped with his eye completely closed against the raw kid, should’ve been a stoppage, but boxing kept Larry propped up for one more fight, his 49-0 attempt against Michel Spinks who, like Williams and Witherspoon before him, easily outboxed the increasingly plodding, gunshy Larry, and lo and behold, actually got credit for it. Amazing things sometimes do happen in boxing and in life, after all, we remember getting money for our baby teeth under our pillows, but I don’t think the Tooth Fairy will be visiting the Frenchman in Alabama.

Not sure about the exact numbers, but it may well be Wilder holds the modern world heavyweight record for the most TBA knockouts, so the burning question for this “event” is…badaboom…how do you say DUH in French with an Alabama accent? 

Travis Tygart & USADA Vs Thomas Hauser

The latest volleys fired across the current ship of state of boxing and drug testing in the aftermath of boxing’s biggest rip off of the public sector, Pacquiao vs Mayweather:

One of many of my previous musings on the current state of drug testing in the world here:

I’m taking Hauser in this one as Tygart has proven himself to be no more than a power mongering, money grubbing tool for the shiny veneer of cleaning up big money athletics. When is he going to post his own drug testing results online for the public to savage?

Modern Alchemy in Parts Per Trillion

Modern Alchemy in Parts Per Trillion

Another Boner for Broner vs Khabib Allakhverdiev

Adrien Broner looks to have pulled yet another boner by “attempting” to fight Khabib Allakhverdiev for the vacant 140lb WBA title somewhere in Cincinnati, Ohio, Saturday, October 3rd. Nobody has let on where they will fight yet as befits his diminished profile in boxing. His omnipresent sugardaddy Al Haymon has leveraged his influence to secure Broner yet another undeserved title shot after stinking up the Ring against Shawn Porter in spite of Porter being weakened by a catchweight of 144 lbs.

Meanwhile, the winner, Porter, sits idly on the shelf being ignored by top fighters and their promoters if you want a clue on how stuff works in boxing these days against the interests of some of their best fighters. I’ve never seen such an inept P4Per as Broner was touted by the Haymon/Gimpy/Golden Boy News of the Ring World only a couple years back. That sure didn’t last long as he continues to be exposed at the higher levels as not having a punch, he can’t box, he can’t really fight, and probably can’t dance, but like he stated to Larry Merchant earlier in career during an interview, “Larry, when they sign to fight Adrien Broner, I’m like dog doo-doo on their shoe. They can’t get me off them.” It’s telling that thus far the boxing public has been unable to get Broner off their shoes either.

Here’s Broner pulling a boner on anti-social media websites as he’s been doing in the ring with his career.

Broner Pulling a Boner

Broner Pulling a Boner

Kahbib may not register as a name with the general public, but this is another in a long line of very tough Russians these days who can fight as he proved in pounding the undefeated zero off Joan Guzman, a far more accomplished fighter than poor Broner. Don’t think Kahbib is signed with Haymon, but if not, it is a virtual certainty that he won’t get a decision over Broner unless he pounds him from from stem to stern and pillar to post with a few knockdowns thrown in like Maidana did. Kahbib does have the advantage of the better trainer here in John David Jackson which should help his cause immensely with the Haymon appointed ref in Broner’s hometown.



Kahbib recently lost a tight decision to Top Rank’s latest darling, Jesse Vargas, so he knows what he has to do here by staying patient and not getting frustrated as the ref pulls him off Broner anytime Kahbib is getting through. Just steadily hunt down to pound away and let the chips land where they may.

Sad that boxing these days has come down more to insider politics than actually fighting, but such are the historical cycles as this poorly managed sport is mostly circling the drain of ignominy with the general public these days thanks to boxing’s reprehensible monkey shines, ie; The Dud TUE 49-0 Mexican Holiday September non-event. At this point in time, boxing could be banned tomorrow and nobody but the fractional remains of 1% would care.

On Being Ruskie~Roy Jones Jr

What’s on my mind lately is Roy Jones applying for and being granted Russian citizenship. I hope he knows what he’s doing as he goes into Crimea to build a premium training facility to promote his fighters. Crimea is hotly disputed territory. I suggest Roy ask Vitali or Wlad Klitschko all about that to be clued in what you may be looking forward to.

Roy Translation To Putin~Lemme In!

Roy Translation To Putin~Lemme In!

It’s a shame really that such a wonderfully bountiful, beautiful spot is in danger of being seriously damaged by manmade conflict beyond the common citizens’ control who live there, but such destruction of nature and human life has always been our lot in this world as powerful self interests battle for supremacy without regard of the rules set forth by Marquis 0f Queensbury so many ages ago.

Roy has recently been quoted variously of wanting to challenge Krzysztof Glowacki for his newly won WBO cruiser title, or alternately Marco Huck who was obliterated in one of the most violent fights of this decade between those two big men. Roy is not a “big man” nor does he have his legs under him any more nor does he have the big punch to keep them off him. While admiring his warrior spunk that was somewhat MIA during the latter years of his prime, I thought he had at least one biological child or more that he should think about before attempting a return to the top level of boxing.

He was also quoted as saying he expects to earn some $2-3 BILLION dollars! Not to toss cold water on his ambition, but that just seems unrealistic. How much has Bob Arum made promoting the most successful modern boxing promotional company these past 40+ years? I doubt we’ll ever know that, but surely no where near 2-3 billion.

Go forth with God’s good graces as well as Vladimir Putin with eyes and senses on full alert. You’re a stranger in a strange land now.

Say It Ain’t So, Flo~Floyd Mayweather Jr Finally Busted

As I mentioned in my leadup to Floyd Mayweather vs Andre Berto, Mayweather has gotten so arrogant in always getting his way @ MGM Floyd that he is increasingly acting out in unprofessional ways empowered by the unholy alliance with USADA and the Vegas commish who, ahem, happens to be the former FBI director if you want to consider all the problems with credibility that department has had over these many decades.

Drip, Drip, Drip

Drip, Drip, Drip

Now days before the Berto fight, another big shoe has finally dropped on Mayweather in a riotous circus of backbiting revelations involving him illegally being administered IVs of saline, vitamins, and water in his home hours after the weighin of the Manny Pacquiao fight. Such a procedure is banned by most drug testing protocols due to it being a prime method of masking drug use in athletics. Since Mayweather has never had a weight problem and would only need to lose about 4 lbs from his walking around street weight which also happens to be his fightweight, there is no reason for him to be needing IVs unless something was medically wrong with him, in which case he would be in a proper medical setting.

He was caught in the act by the USADA who are supposed to notify the
Vegas commish, but didn’t. Mayweather applied for an exemption many days later which unbelievably was granted by the notorious Travis Tygart run USADA that has now caused a bureaucratic rift with the Vegas commish in a typical American ham-handed power struggle over who’s preeminent in this circle of jerks.

Like Will Rogers noted folks, I only know what I read and don’t make this stuff up. “It” happens as the saying goes and “it” happens a lot in boxing since the general intelligence level of the hacks associated with boxing and drug testing is almost exclusively self serving. They certainly don’t test themselves, you can bet on it. Not only, incredibly they couldn’t even get their scorecards right in boxing’s biggest fight ever, Pacquiao vs Mayweather, only in boxing do these kind of monkey shines go on and on and on and on in perpetuity.

While sounding impressively damning on top of Mayweather’s other 3 alleged failed tests, I don’t discount his ability to slip these accusations since his stink never stinks after his minions at the commish and USADA hose everyone down with rosewater. We’ll have to follow the sordid story to see what happens next. Might they suspend Mayweather before the Berto fight…nah, probably not, only in boxing!


A Time to Flush~Floyd Mayweather vs Andre Berto

This scorching, boring, simmering summer has spawned yet another canned Floyd Mayweather Jr “event,” this time with Andre Berto in perfect metronomic sequence as befits the stupendous Mayweather Showtime contract. As always, to be “contested” within the climate controlled confines of MGM Floyd in Las Vegas on a Mexican Independence Day weekend, September 12th this year. To be officiated by the usual well stuffed cabbages who will manfully tuck in Mayweather’s bib and cut up his steak into teensy bits before bowing and scraping to all his majesty as they spoon feed him the most ethereal, nothingness points wins in history.

The Marketing

The Marketing

Toddlers in a game of tiddly winks generate more explosive action than a Mayweather fight. If he were a baseball team, every game would be in his home park and in every scoreless innings he would be automatically awarded a run, 2 if need be. If a football team, he’s always playing at home and in every scoreless possession he’d be automatically awarded a touchdown. In a tennis match on his personal court, every time a deuce score came up he would be awarded the game. Everytime absolutely nothing happens in the ring as in the first round against Manny Pacquiao @ MGM Floyd, his cheerleaders burst out of their shorts with, “Mayweather wins the first round EASY,” as one silly putty scribe tried to convince us in his report. That’s why we have to see the “events” to better place in context where all this phoney Haymon/Golden Boy News of the Ring World baloney comes from. I’ll guarantee that if boxing ever goes to scoring even rounds 10-10, or better yet, 0-0, the unceasing scoring outrages Boxing self-creates every fight week would be reduced by a factor of 10. The unwashed public could better see who really wanted to fight and who really wanted to run and duck and cry, but then Boxing would lose that extra control of the fight results and subsequent rewards. We likely won’t see that happen as they continue to dumb down the fight game near to zero relevance with the public because they can still make their silly money as they have done with Pacquiao and Mayweather and now projected to do with Canelo.

Three judges are supposed to have scored the last “event” for Mayweather in the red corner when he was really in the blue corner. Manny was in the red corner, so Manny in the red corner wins the fight, right? So the question arises who ever really wins in Vegas when these commish anointed clowns can’t even fill out their cards correctly not to mention historically adding up their scores “wrong” requiring “recalculations” after the fact along with other gross errors that would shame an 4th grader? Conveniently, they have no shame. Circuses are run better than boxing because when they make mistakes, people get chewed up by lions and tigers or quashed by elephants. Las Vegas gets away with it because they’re part of the untouchable gaming industry that always ensures the odds favor them before the rubes ever set foot in their casinos. My previous musings regarding the irredeemable ills of modern scoring here:

Sure, Mayweather knows to dole out just enough warm, squishy mush for the punch monkeys to swoon over much like he tosses out $100 dollar bills at his strippers. Once in a blue moon he might even score a showy direct hit, but it’s mostly running around with his back turned, twisting and ducking down below his waist before arm locking or choking fighters while lacing their faces in between displaying his patented Hopkins upperbutt, and so much more if we include his patented hitting on the break and the rest of his monkeyshines. It’s been an interesting odyssey watching him morph into a quitting, bawling, superannuated Bernard Hopkins in his later years. I can’t ever think of a pair of lessor “American greats” but it is what it is, a new American era of posing and crotch grabbing that produces non-fighters posing like Tarzan, yet not even able to put up a fight so much as Jane.

Mr. Pinky Finger Comeuppance Mr. Pinky Finger Comeuppance

Cry Baby, Cry

Cry Baby, Cry

How did American boxing ever come to stink so much as this after so much glory with Sugar Ray Robinson, Jack Dempsey, Joe Louis, Marvin Hagler, and so many other great fighting champions? You could write an biographic encyclopedia of a hundred and twenty years of the most wondrous American fighters known to mankind.

In hindsight however, it does seem apt that Mayweather’s biggest events befit our new millennium that has now seen the US Supremes overturn in one fell swoop tens of thousands of years of world history to rewrite the marriage contract between men and women to also include same sex and presumably other alternative sex marriages. Such turns out to be the perfect national backdrop as Al Haymon and Floyd Mayweather in cahoots with the Nevada commish have gone even further by redefining boxing rules of scoring without even needing to rewrite the existing rules…BRILLIANT!

When Mayweather enters the ring, he has no need for any definitive offensive effort which is why so many fighters want to be his next dancing partner, it’s the easiest work they’ll ever have and quite lucrative as we know. His new game of winning is by not playing, leveraging his defense of refusing to fight that has replaced the 100+ year history of the sweet science to usher in a new type of American stink science. He claims victory by making everyone look as stink as him, except his stink don’t stink according to Vegas officials who always hose down his cards in rosewater. His fans claim preeminence by use of punch monkey numbers as they endlessly troll out the ol’ platitude of “hit and don’t be hit,” except with Mayweather it’s more like a toddler’s game of tag with him posing a single punch one at a time that almost never makes an impression on the pillows he wears as gloves because he’s at full extension at the furthest distance he can safely maintain, the most minimal if any contact possible before he takes off on a duck and run. It’s no wonder that little UFC girl Ronda Rousey challenged him, he can’t dent a gummy bear to save his life. He’s afraid of gummy bear being too close and might hit him. Unless of course Mayweather  decides to foul by grabbing, choking, and lacing until the ref can break them up and warn Mr. Gummy Bear that he’s in danger of being disqualified.

The New Age of Touch

The New Age of Touch

Andre Berto, ahem, was ranked 22nd by Boxrec less than 6 weeks out from the fight, the 13th rated American if we want to really be technical. No need to beat up on him as the latest Mayweather TBA chosen on short notice since he’s already being terribly savaged as worse than unworthy by antisocial media misanthropes. Of course this always happens in every Mayweather event. According to Mayweather’s diehard subjects, none of Mayweather’s opponents are ever worthy to fight him until he records a win over them, and then poof, they suddenly become some of the best ever fighters that he’s beat, “beat” of course being the nonoperative word here. Look up featherduster in the dictionary and see his gloved hands pictured. He missed his calling as a housemaid me thinks what with his speed afoot combined with his featherdusters, but housemaids don’t make his kind of money, so can anyone blame him for making free money that they throw him for showing up to pose, foul, duck, and run?

Where else can Mayweather opponents make that kind of easy noncombatant money in such luxurious air conditioned facilities with all those glittery ladies of the night hanging out at the ready for post fight fun?

One trend about Mayweather continues that is inescapable, some of his judges and many of his fans have started to turn against him for poor performances. We’ve seen this before when he emotionally melted down over the pressure of his fans constantly haranguing him as to why he wouldn’t fight Manny. Predictably, his Mayweather genes took his frustration out against defenseless women that resulted in his 2012 incarceration. In 2014 he had consecutive Majority Decisions against Canelo and Marcos Maidana where he was marked down with draw scores after some judges officially failed to see his ring genius that his minions insist upon. In particular he clowned away the last round against Canelo that turned out to be relatively close on the cards. He lost that final round on all the cards that his loyal subjects subsequently cried about, but the canned nature of his fights has so stroked out his ego that he now tends to act out in nonprofessional ways that his loyal subjects project as “dominance.”

Moreover he always needs his usual performance boost with cortisone injections for his fragile hands as authorized by the Vegas commish, something they denied Manny for his fragile right shoulder that was operated on a week after their fight. That was never ever going to be a fair fight as I first noted in my lead up to their grossly mislabeled “Fight of the Century.”  At one point Manny landed 3 consecutive right hands in a row that knocked him well backwards. With the injections in a fair contest, that sequence might have resulted in Mayweather going down and so on. Mayweather was widely derided by most fans after that nonperformance, and now, he, through his sugar daddy Al Haymon, is currently being sued for $300 million by Golden Boy and $100 million by Top Rank for illegally trying to take over boxing. Additionally, thirty two separate lawsuits have been filed against Pacquiao for not disclosing his injured shoulder that Team Mayweather and the USADA knew about. Mayweather is also listed in most of those suits, so now the stink of boxing’s greed is being booted up the shark chain of civil lawyers for a good ol’ fashion turkey carving.

Will Mayweather clown away this fight against Berto? Here’s a compilation of some of the more recent athletic boners in track, football, soccer, biking, and baseball from lessor athletes.

Bookies have Mayweather as the favorite variously listed as a range from a cartoonish 80 to 1 down to 40 or 50 to 1 over Berto as he looks to “smash,” re: tie Rocky Marciano’s 49-0 record which of course he could never do because Rocky also had 43 KNOCKOUTS packed into some of the most violent 8 year careers of boxing history, his last fight being just after turning 32. Mayweather has languidly feathered in his 49 over a 19 year span with 26 KO, in his 9th year of posing his last of 12 “events” at the MGM Floyd. That’s 9 years of averaging a meek 1.3 fights a year, but hey, ho, it’s all about the money stupid. That’s really all that really counts to his loyal subjects when they talk about him, his PPVs and purses.

No surprises with officiating.

Kenny Bayless was chosen as the ref, now in his 4th out of the last 5 “Mayweather events.” Judge assignments went Adalaide Byrd in her 3rd run of Mayweather’s 12 consecutive “events” at MGM Floyd, and Dave Moretti in his 9th of those 12 “events.” Steve Weisfeld of New York is the imported rookie Mayweather likes to use for his 3rd judge to ostensibly keep everything “fair.” Each judge officially earns $8,000, but unofficially?

Mayweather is saying he’ll retire after this, but he said that a few times already and always came crawling back to Golden Boy and HBO before finally landing his Showtime contract, so his word is about as good as the drug tests his team has failed and he has alleged to have personally failed. Not once has his team or the unholy alliance with the USADA and Vegas commish ever officially answered the allegations against him to the public. As it turns, Berto is also the 2nd fighter having used PEDs in the past that Mayweather will give a big payday in spite of vowing to “clean up” boxing.

How could Floyd ever cope with eternal life in the Great Pantheon of Boxing? In Valhalla where all the greats go, mo’ money has no value. Greats lust to fight the best every day, so they’re still waiting on Floyd Mayweather’s little pinky to man up to fight Manny Pacquiao. Even his own daddy refuted him for running from Manny. That he essentially refused to fight in his most signature career moment may well turn to be his lasting legacy in the ring. Now any correction may be too late for him, but like the now broke Mike Tyson, he earned all that money.

My guess is that Berto’s has been daily watching one of the few truly dynamic upsets this year when Krzysztof Glowacki rose from certain death off the canvas to utterly obliterate the record setting Marco Huck. Lord knows the shaky boxing Berto’s confidence is in desperate need of stoking these days, so his time is now or never.

 Americans do so love to prop up their “special” fighters at the end of their careers like Ali who was finally embarrassed one time too many by a crazed amateur lightheavy novice, Neon Leon Spinks. Larry Holmes managed to straggle to a disputed 48-0 before Leon’s younger brother, Michael Spinks, slapped him upside his noggin with Rocky Marciano’s big jock strap. Anything is possible in boxing, especially if officials decide to stage a fair fight, but, nahhh, probably not this time. Next year’s silly money is already in the queue…

BIG vs little

BIG vs little

WBC Emeritus Vitali Klitschko Returns For Historic Scrum of 20 Heavyweight Champs

WBC Emeritus Champion Vitali Klitschko is supposed to be on his way to a historic scrum of near two dozen former heavyweight champions Saturday, September 5th. Former Vitali victim, the permanently topless Shannon Briggs, 58-6-1, 51 KO, goes against Michael Marrone, 21-4, 15 KO, in the main event of this heavyweight brouhaha at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida.

The Mayor of Kiev has had his hands full since elections with the ongoing Russian military conflicts over Ukrainian sovereignty. He was seen last week in Kiev watching Ukrainian compatriot and fellow boxer Oleksandr Usyk demolish South African Johnny Muller, so I assume K2 Promotions he runs with his brother Wlad are doing well these days.

Projected  former world heavyweight champions slated to attend include reigning champ Wladimir Klitschko, Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, Michael Spinks, Tony Tucker, Roy Jones Jr., Michael Moorer, Ray Mercer, Hasim Rahman, Tony Tubbs, James “Bonecrusher” Smith, Chris Byrd, John Ruiz, Mike Weaver, Evander Holyfield, Tim Witherspoon, Larry Holmes, Riddick Bowe, Pinklon Thomas, Michael Bentt, Lamon Brewster, Leon Spinks and Bruce Seldon.

Neon Leon Spinks will be the most senior of the champs dating back to his shock of Muhammad Ali in 1978  who is likely unable to attend due to his poor health. Other projected absences would be Herbie Hide(jail sentence,) James Toney(stripped by IBF after positive steroid test,) and David Haye(recovering pinky toe.)

In particular the new owner of “regular” WBC heavy strap, Deontay Wilder may also be missing in action even though he’s only a hop and skip away in Alabama(Sugardaddy Al Haymon, his overseer, passed on a $2 million dollar Shannon Briggs offer to challenge Wilder for considerably less against a Frenchman in Alabama. I don’t make this stuff up folks, only in boxing)

Can’t say I know many of the details, but presumably there will be a meet and greet type banquet with requisite speeches prior to the boxing matches. Probably some autograph and picture sessions, the usual splashy stuff that would befit this historic occasion. It’s telling how many “champs” have been packed in this 37 year span, yet less than a handful could be said to have been dominant, and only Wlad can be said to have cleaned out the division, a couple of three times now as he is tying and breaking Joe Louis heavyweight records.