Tag Archives: Washington DC

No Fool Like April Fool Broner vs Ashley Theopane

In yet another one of boxing’s stranger than fiction assinine alignments, the supposed WBA Jr Welter Superchampion, Adrien Broner, defends against the unlikely British non contender, Ashley Theophane, at the DC Armory, Washington, District of Columbia this Friday, appropriately on April Fools day.

Theophane, 36-9-1, 9 KO,  is, of course, unranked by Ring, so referencing Boxrec which ranks every active fighter, we find that he’s ranked 47th in his division as of this publication. So why o why was this bout ever made? Easy, Broner has been looking so shaky for so long that his value has dropped. Enter the Theophane promoter who made this fight happen,  TUE Mayweather, who has created an ongoing feud to be carried out in youtube rants and tweets that Broner assists in. How convenient, a high profile boxing family feud of thugs with an easy pushover to play tug of war with for the show. One could almost believe TUE is planning his easy money comeback against the hapless Broner, himself another easy pushover these days.

Even more convenient was the felonious assault and aggravated robbery and civil suit filed in Cincinnati by a fellow Cincy miscreant accusing Broner of using a gun backed by 8 goons to split his noggin open and steal $14,000 back in January. You’d think Broner would have been arrested and arraigned by now, but nope, this dope appears inviolable for now, supposedly “training” his larded rear off in the safe haven at the seat of the US Government, Washington DC. Such is what passes as law enforcement these days. One supposes if indeed he is allowed to fight, he’ll use his purse to pay off all the interested parties. Whatever works to get him back in the public eye and a quick payday.

If I was the light hitting Theophane, I’d target that open fish mouth style he uses to break his jaw. I’m surprised nobody yet has really targeted this major flaw save Marcos Rene Maidana. Poor guy can’t even shut his mouth in the ring he’s so challenged and now also looks to be at least 20 lbs over the weight limit just two days away.

This “All About Billions” promotion is looking for billions one step at a time. Gotta admit, at least Broner was smart enough to have a gun and 8 guys backing him up to kick off their one strong arm $14K robbery at a time business model. Can’t beat the bowling alley venue either, pure p4p clown. Might take a while to secure the billions, but who in this outfit could ever count that high anyway?

Refugees from the Bearded House of David baseball club?

Refugees from the Bearded House of David baseball club?

Evander Holyfield–When Enough Ain’t Enough

Good golly Miss Folly, when will enough be ENOUGH ALREADY for Evander Holyfield?

"The Greenbriar"

“The Greenbriar”

So as not to be a spoilsport, I’m OK that he is fighting  Sherman Williams at The Greenbrier, a historic high end hotel resort privy to the moneyed bluebloods and the ruling establishment of Washington DC.

Hey, it’s the kind of classy soft landing clubfight venue that fans and former fans of 48 yr old Mr. Holyfield have long pined for after a career spent going against most of the best heavyweights of the 1990s, one of the best heavyweight eras of boxing.

Mr. Field notched his first top ten heavy scalp in 1989 against Michel Dokes in a thrilling fight of the year kinda slugfest that wowed boxing fans everywhere. In between his last top ten scalp against Hasim Rahman in 2002, Mr. Holyfield managed to win 4 heavyweight titles, a new record, but the magic was clearly gone when he had to billygoat his way to victory over Rahman in a bizarre technical win that ended with Rahman sporting a lump the size of a softball over his eye.

That’s a long legendary 13 years against the best, and an even longer 9 years afterwards that sees Mr. Holyfield struggling to show any form against top ten fighters. He has even struggled against retired, inactive heavies on the comeback trail, aka Sherman Williams, 34-11-2, 19 KO as it may happen this Saturday at The Greenbrier.

This fight has been bounced around from venue to venue as promoters struggle to put together a viable package they can market as has happened to many of Mr. Holyfield’s scheduled opponents whose fights ultimately were canceled for lack of promotional and public interest. His next fight is supposed to be on March 5th against Brian Nielsen in Copenhagen, Denmark.

The soon to be 46 yr old former IBO/IBC champ Brian Nielson is another retired heavy announcing a comeback after a sweet 9 year vacation. And why shouldn’t he hop on the newly formed Real Deal Senior Circuit?

Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis and Larry Holmes are reported to have received special viewing invitations at this historic West Virginia landmark, so could be a chance for one or all to scout out the promotion and contemplate their own comebacks against Mr. Holyfield.

And I’m OK with that, this new senior circuit league.

What I’m not OK with is Mr. Holyfield’s incessant quest to not only regain a 5th heavyweight title, but to unify the division, something he could never do in his prime, though he did win and go to defend a unified title 3x before losing it to Riddick Bowe.

Don King leveraged the legend of Mr. Holyfield to maneuver him to two consecutive title challenges in 2007-2008 to WBO champ Sultan Ibragimov and WBA champ NikolayValuev. He could scarcely mount an offensive threat against the champs who were clearly wearing the cuffs, not wishing to be the one blamed for scrambling the remainder of his brains for the rest of his life, or WORSE!

In his prime as a champion, Mr. Holyfield’s KO ratio was abysmal and has only gotten worse as his reflexes abandoned him while aging through the decades. It just ain’t a fairfight anymore unless he gets “assistance” from officials as he now requires.

The Greenbrier “Redemption in America” card has been heavily promoted in Fightnews, seemingly some dozen or more articles every week for several weeks now. He did an interview with boxing fanhouse as part of the leadup to the fight claiming the Klitschkos are ducking him:

http://boxing.fanhouse.com/2011/01/19/evander-holyfield-and-the-klitschkos-can-make-20-million-apiec/

I don’t know what is more laughable, or is it cryable, when Mr. Holyfield followed the ducking charge on the topic of money, how much he made and how much he could make for everyone, splitting $40 million against one of the brothers in ‘Vander World.

Newsflash for Mr. Holyfield:

Top contenders don’t want to fight you because they don’t want to hit you, and as much as you want to hit them, you can’t any more than you could hit the side of a barn with a sawed off shotgun in your current state of decline.

It Happens

It Happens

Give it up and stay on the senior circuit.

I suspect even the rusting 258 lb Sherman “Tank” will give you more fire than team Atlanta has seen since General Sherman marched through the Atlanta cottonfields some 145 yrs ago. The parallel may be lost on you, but fairplay, we know the fight is the perfect prep for a Tyson rubber match, something more in your league, so good luck, but please, keep your delusions to yourself, you’re scarin’ folks.

George Foreman was knocking around a prime Shannon Briggs like a bowling pin at your age, but you ain’t Big Bad George. You were  lucky enough hang on for dear life in the closing rounds to survive him in your prime, a distant 20 yrs ago.

For the sake of boxing, your fans, and more importantly, your family, especially your children, please do find that perfect soft spot to land your retirement on with a semblance of dignity your career deserves.

Oh, did I mention Mr. Holyfield is defending his newly “won” World Boxing Federation heavyweight title he acquired from “knocking out” Kris Kringle in the form of one Frans Botha?

Yah, va con Dios, mi amigo.